Disappointed premi writes

A premis own version of how the dera functions can be found here but i have pasted it so read on.

DHAN DHAN SATGURU TERA HEE ASRA
I have been and had been a very dedicated follower of dera sacha sauda and I always was / is willing to pass on message of our mission dera sacha sauda to world over. With this inspiration and love for our mission took me to dera sacha sauda. I went there with virgin ideas and enthusiasm. I never wanted to make money by serving god or dera sacha sauda or wanted to be leader of any kind by using followers of dera sacha sauda. Because of my little bit knowledge and education, i got respect at dera. I was given (i will say fake) respect. A day by day I started to learn attitude of sewadaars of dera. Many or in other words main sadhus or sewadaars were nothiing more than money or blood sucking leeches. I wanted to make available all or our books free of cost or on no profit basis to world so we can pass on message. Many didn’t like my this idea. I also wanted to give copy right to our satsang CDs or Cassetes to all to distribute as it is without changing any contents. No body liked this idea either. Many of my such idea were rejeced because I was acting like a stupid kid who want to loose money. I soon lost my respect. Everyone I will talk or see will ask how I can help to promote our dera products or anyway help to make more money. I also learned how Pitaji bachans or words manipulated to promote dera products. I also learned about fake rumors and propaganda. I also learned how Maryada of Dera Sacha Sauda is abused. I saw royal family members coming to Majlis on Car. I also saw how they intract with normal premis and special premis. I started to learn TRUE picture of Dera Sacha Sauda occupiers. I never liked views/thoughts and talks of many sewadaars premis. First I tried to ignore it by saying DEEVE TALE ANDHERA. But it keep haunting me. I learned who and how they work with political leaders. I also tried to understand where Crores of rupees earned at dera go. My total experience turned dera to a commercial place not religious. I am / was surprised how dedicated satsangies (followers) are and how these assholes (sewadaars) use their sentiments. I was surprised that how “very” new premi can come very close to Pitaji (if he is rich and stupid or willing to join hands in making money). The best exmple is of MLA Harminder Singh Jassi. Harminder Singh Jassi is corrupt liquor thekedaar and Rich. He become very close to Pitaji and got into relationship with Pitaji. He didn’t even change after that. He still like chickens and enjoy his non-dera sacha sauda life. All that I could digest because Pitaji does have social life and responsibilites to his family. But direct participation in elections something I could not digest. If somebody says all that happens because dera managment want to get rid of CBI false (or true) allegations against dera sacha sauda then I will say they are all wrong. Why ? Because dera is helping political leaders since 1997. I was asked to vote and I saw all others in my city to vote one particular person because dera management wanted us to do so. The story they told then was about the same (to help poor premis or protect premis from atrocities of rich people). The only difference then was wording “It is not the order of Pitaji (Pitaji don’t want to come into this) but we can’t do anythig without His permission”. This double message language was disturbing to me. I also learned how Dera Managment cope with anti-dera or truth seeking people. If someone say dera people killed Ranjit Singh, it was hard to believe for me at some point. But today I can believe that. Today any person with some rtionale can understand how dera is trying its butt hard to stop CBI enquiry, just because that reporter was killed by someone at dera ? No, dera is trying it hard because that enquiry will bring many other murders and misdeads of dera people. I used to have arguements or fights with many people in the past just because someone will say something against dera or my guru. Today i feel ashmed and lost that war because these people had point then and my guru in fact is watching maryada of dera sacha sauda being abused.